I cried 5 times today.
I've been sick...maybe it's that. Or exhaustion. Who knows! I have bawled frustrated tears, excited tears, happy tears and tired tears. Do you have days like that?
1. There was the small fact that my friend Brittany had the monumental Ultrasound that told her she will have a SON in July. I received a text....and I think my response went something like this..."OH MY HELL OH MY HELL OH MY HELL....MY DREAMS JUST CAME TRUE!" then the tears started coming. The first ones of the day. She will be the mother of a darling little BOY and I cried tears like a complete crazy woman who had just been told all over again that her days would be spent playing catch instead of painting nails. Like a woman who had 3 bags of girl clothes shoved under her bed and would NOW be returning all of them for board shorts and Cubs Jersey's. I felt like it was me. It is surreal. A BOY. Are you sure? Is that possible....ya know...because I am a girl? The day they told me how my life would change. What side of the store to shop in...what section of "baby names" to browse over...the day that proved that my husband in fact DOES have emotions and feelings...and the best day of my life SECOND ONLY to the day I birthed him and filled my prescription for percocet:)
2. I then cried when discussing my upcoming Vacation with my Aunt Lana. I am taking my child to DISNEYLAND in a few short weeks and the very thought sends me overboard into a blubbering mess. I mean....my child...meeting Tigger and Mickey...in person! I can't contain my excitement and complete feeling of "luckiness" (I recognize that I just created this word)...and yet it doesn't seem to do it justice. I am grateful for this: my husband who obviously agreed to finance my idea, my child being freakishly tall for his 3 year old age and therefore his ability to ride the majority of rides, my mom's sister's who are all coming and bringing their families and "taking turns with him" so that me and Jarom can enjoy it too! It is going to be wonderful!!! 30 of the most fun and loving people ever. They are all so good to him. PLUS...I need a little one-on-one time with Jarom but DO NOT want to leave Jax home. It's the best of both worlds:)
3. I am lonely. I'm not sure why...but I am sick of this weather and of feeling crappy. I don't know many people in my new area and I am trying to conquer the "CHANGE" that accompanies moving cities, wards, friends, neighborhoods, etc. Me and Change should be friends by now...but we aren't. I always have an adjustment period. When my parent's dropped me off in Omaha Nebraska and I bawled and considered a 3 year separation from my husband rather than LIVING there....my dad told me to "Quit Crying....and Change Lives!" I like to believe that I did....but only after I spent a few good months bawling and hitting the Krispy Kreme Drive through for comfort. The first month I moved here to Layton my friends consisted of: Target, Hobby Lobby, TaiPan and Rod Works. I am now looking for more substantial friendships:)
Everybody in my Neighborhood is SOOO wonderful and sweet BUT
B-U-S-Y. They have children in the 6th grade...who need help with science fair projects...and who come ask to shovel my walk for 20 bucks. :):) They are busy meeting deadlines and volunteering and being members of the PTA. Me...well...I checked my schedule and it looks like the only thing I've got in the near future is...Christmas 2010.
4. I miss Jarom. This is sooooo needy and silly....but I never see my husband! It is making me emotional. He leaves at 7:00 a.m. (way way way before I'm awake folks:) and I don't see him til' 9:00-ish. That mean that I see his face for approx. 1 hour each day....and it's getting old. I miss him. I kind of like him. He's my friend and I think he's cute. Why can't we just have my friend Mandi's life? I mean...her husband works 2 days a week and they play with their children at the park in vegas's 70 degree weather for the other 5 days. Whatever. It's not easy to like her. Mainly because of that....but also because she is super sweet, a wonderful friend and listener and she got a brand spankin new Escalade for V-day. Whatever. again.
I just want to see my husband while it's light outside. Is that being high-maintenance?
I think not. Over-emotional. Possibly. ha ha.
5. Last but not least....my husband has his first very own Trial in the morning. I will not go into detail because of my complete lack of knowledge on the subject...but it is very movie-ish to me. ha ha.
I smile (and tear up) when I picture him calling witnesses to the stand and arguing his points, etc. Tonight I should have been cooking him this wonderful good luck dinner...but when he arrived home at 9:00 p.m. he had to go buy his own little ceasar's pizza instead. Pathetic. My head feels like a balloon...if that brings me any sympathy.
I did make him give his CLOSING ARGUMENT or whatever you call it....to me...and I think he should win. If not for his very clever and intelligent way of solving a complex issue...maybe just because he looks by far the best in a suit and tie.
I appreciate all the nice words about my strange "anonymous comments" lately.
None of them rude...but they were definitely NOT NICE...so what else is there I guess?
Am I right?
I find it rather shocking that people take the time to write something negative!
I usually pause and take the time to comment when I want to congratulate or compliment or I'm incredibly touched by something.
Makes you wonder how miserable some people enjoy being doesn't it?!?
As a matter of fact...Me and my BFB Brittany just had a talk about one of those. The miserable kind that prey on the "happy". We call her many things...but I will refer to her as "PSYCHO" for blog purposes. hee hee. It just so happens that I have a "gift" at putting them in their place. Jarom calls it Sass...but it can and has been called many things. We concocted a plan that I think has a very high success rate of totally making her pissed off...and I cannot WAIT to execute this plan!
Immaturity is so liberating every once in awhile!
Have a wonderful Friday:)