I saw my babies.
I kissed them...and smelled them...and swaddled them up for bed tonight.
When I saw their heads snuggled together...I vividly remember the feeling of them snuggling like that on the INSIDE!
I am so happy they are out.
Reality is they shouldn't be here for another week from tonight....but I am so glad they are!
Even though I am crazy stressed and tired and sleep deprived just from the constant pumping all night long (I'm trying to imagine the exhaustion I will feel when they are actually HOME)....I can't wipe the smile off my face. We spend our days running back and forth to the hospital for feeding times and then back to Jaxson to spend time with him.
That schedule...mixed with work, cleaning every sqaure inch of this house in preparation for my babies coming home....Pumping and Pumping some more.....
oh yah...and HEALING from a C-section and blood transfusion....
you can imagine how crazy my life is right now.
It was almost impossible to live through the last week of my life.
Being unable to see my own babies was torture.
Let me tell you something...
THEY WERE WORTH THE WAIT:)
I sure hope London always likes her brother this much:)
They love to be together. They sleep best squashed together like this!
It will break my heart if/when one of my babies comes home without the other.
Oh boy.....Jarom thinks I am hormnonal and irrational right NOW!
He ain't seen nothin' yet.
London was awake for the first time tonight for her entire feeding!
We were in heaven....seeing her big eyes....and letting her kick and make hilarious faces at us.
She even held her daddy's hand:)
Then, of course, the NICU nurse told us it was time to swaddle them up and put them back.
Having a PREEMIE baby is so different.
I am struggling with "ignoring" my mother's instinct. That is definitely the hardest part of all of this.
I want to hold them and cuddle them and give them mounds of affection.
Talk to them and let them hear my voice.
What they NEED is sleep. Rest. To conserve their energy for feeding time. To maintain their own body heat. In order to do that they need to be left alone and not over-stimulated.
It is so hard to leave them each night.
My little London
(with milk on her lips:)
oh my my my......I am so in love.
My baby boy Mason.
It just doesn't get sweeter.
I knew for 9 (ok 8) months that I was having TWO.
I bought for TWO. I prepared for TWO.
It felt like TWO:) haha.
But I just couldn't imagine such a thing.
Now that it has come true...and I have been present the entire time to witness it all....I still can't seem to believe it. Maybe it's the anemia....or the blood loss...or the percocet....
but I truly can't get over walking into the NICU and turning the corner to see TWO entire little people laying there. They were inside me. They are MINE. They are perfect. How does this happen to somebody???
They have all of their parts!
Tonight I whispered into each of their ears that prenatal vitamins were overrated...because I am pretty sure that I threw up every single one....and then stopped taking them all together because they made me so sick. haha.
I am so happy today...it's hard to imagine that life could get better.
I can only imagine how happy I will be the day I bring them home to meet their awesome big brother.