Thursday, April 26, 2012

My belly:)

Last summer when I was desperately trying to get pregnant, we took Jaxson to Lagoon.
I think it was around the Fourth of July. It was HOT, BUSY and happening for the SOLE purpose of making Jaxson GRIN. For some reason Lagoon isn't as magical as I remember when I was...oh about...SEVEN. Holy gross.  

It worked though. The kid about died with happiness.
He also calls the place Magoon....and I refuse to correct him because...are you serious????
How hilarious and darling is that?!!!!

Anyhow, we were waiting in line for the carousel as our eyes wandered to a woman standing nearby with a CHILD harnassed to her every square inch.
I kid you not.

 She had one or two on a leash...nicely attached to her belt, she had one in a backpack type concoction meant for hiking and one poor, poor 6-9 month old little girl strapped to her....FRONT...if you could call it that. It wasn't really her chest...or her stomach region even....but more like the sad apparatise she was hanging from malfunctioned and she was hanging from the crotch region just above her mothers legs:)
That little baby was sweating...hanging on for DEAR LIFE.
Jarom had to physcially reach up and push my lower jaw closed as I stared in horror. Her little head was being tossed to and fro, while the crazy lady she was harnassed to paused by a tree to take another long drag of her cigarette. Oh and yell profanities at the TWO toddlers who were harnassed to her belt.

It looked painful. Miserable. Horrible. Abusive.

It was the FIRST and LAST time we both thought:
"and people like her can have as many children as they want."

It wasn't very nice...but how I truly felt at the time.
 I wanted to rescue and love each one of those babies:)

I have no idea why that memory flashed to mind today...other than on Sunday I walked past the body mirror in my bedroom and noticed something! I look like I have a baby hanging from my every sqaure inch as well:) I can now totally relate to her stressed-out look.
Although I know better....It looks like one baby is definitely hiding in my butt, with one in each thigh and TWO hanging on for dear life from a pouch on my FRONT. It is getting so heavy I physically have to help hold it with my arms prevent what feels like "internal tearing of the stomach muscles".

OH, I feel so glamorous!!


I'll prove it!

(31 weeks with twins...and in stretch pants...posting to the internet....I.HAVE.NO.PRIDE!)

I swear to you on my life...the day my thighs stop touching I will grin from ear to ear and be the nicest person you've ever met.


Today my husband had surgery.
It was kind of awful and traumatic. for me.

Jarom...well, he is pretending to be fine. for my sake.
I mean....a couple of percocet and a Doctor Pepper and he's doing miraculous.
He even just used crutches to hobble upstairs and put Jaxson to bed while I consumed a bowl of fat free/sugar free mint chocolate chip ice-cream. (I'm a Diabetic remember...ha!)

Me: I did fine until about 4:00 p.m. and then fell apart and lost approximately 3 pounds from tears alone. 

Today was not my best.
One of the nurses actually took me back into the recovery room and started feeding me ice-chips while I was shoveling them into Jarom's mouth at the same time. Holy embarrassing.
Jarom was trying to WAKE UP from general anethesia and I was trying to not to pass out and occupy the gurney next to him:)

As I said to his nurse.....LOOK AT ME (pointing to the very obvious fact that I have a few offspring hanging from my front)! Does it look like I can be left alone????
Please let him wake up! PLEASE oh PLEASE oh PLEASE.
(as I was consenting to post op instructions that listed BLOOD CLOTS as a possibility!)


Do we take on TOO MUCH at one time: ALWAYS. ABSOLUTELY.
It's just our style for some reason.
I do not recommend it.

It didn't help that it was seriously the hottest day in April that I've ever experienced!
Was it 90???? Cause it felt like 120!!!

My favorite part is when they handed me his bag of clothes and had me get him dressed.
Do I look like like I am capable of ANYTHING right now?

They had him lean on me...and said "just act like his crutch"....

is this happening to me???????

(no problem's just that every bone from my waist down is soft and as pliable as jello...and my doctor warns me to avoid stairs or tripping for fear that I'll dislocate hips and such things)
but no worries....I will escort him to the bathroom and help him pee. Don't you worry....

When we got home...and I fed him lunch....I swelled up to gigantic proportions and I slept for hours. I also proceeded to act like it was ME who had been sliced open and sedated.

A few days have passed and although I can sure tell a dramatic story....things are somewhat ok at our house.
Not fabulous...but OK.

I had a really really really rough...and by rough I mean PAINFUL...night and awoke in tears. I called my mom and bawled and snorted...while screaming things like..."IT HURTS!" I basically had a complete panic attack because of the constant pain. It started pretty intense yesterday afternoon around 2:00 p.m. and I just tried to "deal with it". Well, after the entire afternoon, evening and a horrible night....6:00 a.m. was my breaking point.

My crippled husband helped lift me from the tub...and rubbed my back and swollen, swollen legs and feet until I could make it to the car. He then drove me to Mckay Dee Hospital to see my doctor.

He skipped his pain pills and hobbled on crutches all around town today in PAIN....just to take care of me. Oh and fill my prescriptions for percocet:)

I am so lucky to have him.


My Doctor told me that my ligaments and muscles on the right side of my uterus are tearing/stretching past capacity...pretty much.

It feels exactly like that!!!!
Like...I am being "TORN" from the inside out.

He prescribed me some heavy narcotics and told me that I'm only THREE WEEKS away from these babies needing any kind of steroids or help getting strong before they come!
I am sooo close.

My baby BOY is currently taking up residence on my right side...and he is BIG. He is ruthless and probably the culprit of this pain. My doctor and nurses enjoy watching him freak out during non-stress tests. He will literally kick the monitor off of himself and do everything to move away from it. They say they have to CHASE him down.

----- I said....things are OK at our house.
Jaxson has had some fun playdates with friends...while BOTH of his parents are currently on strict bed-rest with their legs elevated above heart level.

We are such a cute couple right now.
When we emerged from our car at the Mckay Dee Hospital Valet station today....the escorts didn't know which one of to put in a wheelchair!


We can do this!

...and in a few weeks....
jarom will be able to walk...
and I will be able to breath and climb stairs....
and we will be a FAMILY OF Jaxson tells me about 30 times a day!

Thanks for listening and for all the sweet comments and emails:)



Kelly said...

I just want you to know that at 31 weeks with twins you look awesome. I've seen girls with only one baby that looked like they were having four...literally. Twice your size. I feel your pain. I'm only carrying one at 24 weeks and my body hurts. You can do this. You are the cutest mom. Hang in there

Ginger said...

Yeah I honestly don't think you look that big! I'm JUST as big with one baby and I'm 2 weeks behind you! Thanks for making me feel worse--ha ha! And I'm seeing it in my thighs, butt, arms and face too. I can totally empathize. You are so close and it will come off! Hang in there.

Jamie said...

OH...Kristin you make me laugh:) You look great btw! Pretty sure I was double that size;) I totally understand the pains you are going through, I vividly remember the days I couldn't even get up off the couch when I was pregnant with Hunt and Hade:) It will all be over before you know it, hang in there! You're so close! I am so excited for you guys!!!

Michelle said...
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Michelle said...

You poor thing! Hang in there, you can do it! I feel so badly I missed the shower today. I kidnapped William for our anniversary today. I hope you had a blast though and helped you be even more excited to have those cuties here!

Sabrina said...

LOL. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh because you had such an awful day, but your stories always do.

What a fun, interesting life you have beautiful Kristin!

I love that belly full of happy babies but I'm sorry about all the pain. Go to your happy place!