Thursday, February 9, 2012

I know why....& Journal entries!

I NOW know why my child has cavities.
I guess he can climb the shelves and reach just about anything on my "top-shelf" candy stash.
...and I thought that shelf was my little secret.....
I am still trying to decide if I'll keep him after he made me spend  $2,500 at the dentist right in the middle of trying to decorate my stinking nursery. Little turd.
I guess that's life!!!

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Sidenote: This picture of my pantry grossed me out to such a degree that I spent the entire next day cleaning/throwing away/organizing the entire thing. So don't call those physchologists you see on the TV show "Hoarders" just yet! I mean....how on earth could 3 people eat the amount of crap you see stuffed inside of that pantry?!?

Now my pantry is the only clean place in my house...and I kinda wanna sit in there and stare at it sometimes, especially when my "nesting" is in full swing and I get the urge to just throw everything in the house away and start over. :):)

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Jarom calls it NUTS.
I call it MOTHER-MODE.

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On another note: It is 6:00 a.m. and I am blogging. Why you ask???? Because my child is sick and it makes me a nervous wreck. Jarom keeps waking up and telling me...
"He'll be ok honey. Kids get sick!"

ummmmm......not mine.

Ok...he does, obviously.
BUT, I don't have to like it.

He likes me to rub his arms and legs when he has a fever.
He is tossing and turning with a cough that sounds horrid to me.
His ear hurts.
He's burning up.

The Mom = basket case.
Jaxson = sound asleep in my bed.

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So...I will leave you with one piece of advice!
You should switch pediatricians to Farr West pediatrics...a.k.a Dr. Lloyd.
Genius.
Nicest guy ever.
Calls you back within 4 minutes no matter what.
Even on weekends.
Even in the middle of the night.
His office doesn't open until 10:00 a.m., but he's jumping out of bed and meeting me there right now!
Why??? because I teach preschool at 9:00 a.m. and need to be back!!!

Now that.....is a perfect pediatrician.

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You wanna know the BEST part of my night last night?!? When Jaxson climbed into my bed in the middle of the night and 30 minutes later I hear him sit up and say into the dark...
 "Uh-oh. Your not gonna like this!"

Great.

He pulled back the covers, Jarom flipped on the light...and Jaxson revealed a softball size Pee-Spot. Fun.

I don't know about you but I love scrubbing the mattress at 4:00 a.m.

Jaxson was really sweet about it and kept apologizing.

His only justification was "I was having a dream that I was in the tub!"

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Ummmmm.....the only problem I see here....
is that my child obviously pee's in the tub unbeknownst to me.

Being a parent is highly entertaining.
&
exhausting.
xoxox
kris




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Infertility Jounral Entry:
 
October 13, 2011
Today was a GOOD DAY. I haven’t had very many of them for a while….so it feels wonderful.  My transfer went as perfect as possible. The embryologist called us on Monday and Wednesday and all 7 of our embryo’s were growing and dividing normally. They were healthy and strong and that was honestly all I could have asked for!
After arriving this morning I was given 2 valium (hello….RELAXATION). hee hee.
I was anxious to discuss our embryo’s. I knew that our appointment would be full of lots of important information and we would discuss the grade, quality of embryo’s, how many to transfer back, etc. I was excited and nervous  and….I bet you guessed it….EMOTIONAL!
I knew the very MINUTE my babies were being placed in my tummy.
Dr. Peterson walked into the room and handed me a picture. I flipped open the cover and took my first look at 2 of my babies. It was amazing. That is one of those experiences that stick FOREVER. I will never forget how peaceful I felt and how crazy it was to be a part of something so miraculous. Medicine and the capabilities that exist leave me speechless. Dr. Peterson turned to me & handed me a picture of my 2 strongest and “cutest” babies and said to me “ It doesn’t get better than that!”
The embryologist had carefully selected and photographed the 2 HIGHEST QUALITY…. “Cutest” embryo’s as he explained to meJ
I memorized every detail. I had no idea what I was looking at...but it was awesome.
One was big and one was small...right from the first moment.
I turned to Jarom and said..."This one's a boy and this one's a girl...I just know it!"
I skeptically asked Dr. Peterson what he meant by “BEAUTIFUL”….cuz although I was a bit bias and thought they were the most beautiful things I’d ever seen….I wanted to know what it MEANT!
I will never forget what he said…. “that is simply as good as it gets around here (the University of Utah)!”.
I felt a rush of peace and comfort. I still have no idea if things will work out exactly how I hope….but I knew at that moment things would be ok. It gave me a lot of confidence because the University of Utah is one of the TOP infertility clinics in the United States. Dr. Peterson is the HEAD of the entire infertility and endocrinology department for the University of Utah and I trust him COMPLETELY. When he told us that our embryo’s couldn’t be better….I felt HOPE. I felt the glimmer of HOPE that I have been pushing deep deep down…feeling too afraid to feel.
The transfer went smooth and I watched the 2 embryo’s on a screen in front of my eyes. The embryologist picked them up and transferred them from the lab to my room. It was silent....njurses and my Dr. surrounded me.
Moments later, Dr. Peterson announced...your babies are in your tummy...and just like that, Jarom and I were left alone and I was instructed to rest!
I was speechless. It finally hit me. The magnitude of what was going on…of what was happening. It felt like a beginning. It felt like my life was about to CHANGE. BIG TIME.
A small panic attack followed in which I felt like screaming....I was just kidding!!! I changed my mind!! I am serious....I changed my mind about TWO! Take one of them out now!!!
....I think the Valium was used for that reason:)...
I left the office with a very positive outlook.
The Drive home was quiet. (We couldn't wipe the smiles from our faces.)
I was positive for many reasons…but ONE was simply: that I saw it through. I finished this entire process, although at times I didn’t think I could.
I was proud of that.
Whatever happens…I did everything I could.
….and I would do it again….
TWO weeks of laying on my couch and then a blood test. It better be positive.  
Love, me

October 25th, 2011
We made it. The two week wait is up. Jarom and I jumped out of bed and headed for the University of Utah for my blood test. It took a few seconds and they sent me on my way saying they'd call after lunch with the news. No biggie. Just biggest news of my life.
A few hours later I was teaching preschool and my phone rang.
I excused myself and told my assistant that I'd be back in a second.
I locked myself in my bedroom with a notepad and pen so I could remember everything they were about to tell me.
My nurse Jenny started her explanation.
I needed a simple YES or NO....but she started in slow.
Jenny: " Ok....so when we draw your blood we look for a number between 80-100. If it's at 100 then you ARE pregnant."
Me: yah.......
Jenny: "Today when we tested your blood...it was good news! Your level is currently 1,450! You are VERY VERY VERY pregnant. SO pregnant in fact, that there is most likely MORE than one baby...possibly more than two."
Me: " I have no clue what you just said...could you repeat that...."
Jenny: " You are gonna start feeling REALLY sick with that amount of hormone in your body! We want to re-test in 24 hours...."
Me:  I. Have. No. Clue. What. To. Say.  "umm jenny? Will you tell Dr. Peterson that I love him. And thank you. and that I really love him?"
Jenny: "he loves you too."
She then went into details about more shots and dosages and my nightly routine, etc.
I don't remember much. I just wanted & needed to talk to Jarom.
The call to my sweet husband Jarom was a fun one to make.
Definitely a top 10 memory of a lifetime. 
24 hours later I re-tested my blood and the level had sky-rocketed to 3,360.
I WAS SICK. It was IMMEDIATE. It was hormone poisening at it's best.
Those babies attached...and they attached strong.
They continued to make me pay...and notify me of their presence for the next 4 months.
As my nurse Jenny so kindly put it: "it's probably gonna get bad! Like....within a few days it'll start coming out of both ends. hahaha"
ummmmm......
At the time I thought Jenny might be exaggerating with how bad it may get.
She was actually being very very delicate and kind when she described just exactly was going to happen. Oh. My. Hell.
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The other day during my 4D ultrasound I saw them cheek to cheek snuggling and I about melted. They need a little meat on them....but talk about a miracle.
They've come a long way since I was handed a picture of 2 embryo's: One BIG blob of cells that I was convinced was a little boy....and the LITTLE blob of cells that I was convinced was my little girl.
I will forever be in love with Jenny & Denise & Dr. Peterson and even Sasha at the front desk who asked for thousands of dollars every time I stepped foot into the clinic.
They changed my life. and Jaroms. and Jaxsons too.
Forever.
xoxo,
Me

 

5 comments:

Callie said...

We don't really know each other but I totally stalk you blog. Is that weird to admit that? Anyways, I love reading your blog. You capture the real feelings of being a mom/wife/person so well. Made me tear up today reading your story about getting your babies. Congrats on the boy and girl-what a fun adventure you'll have :)

Janese said...

Hi Kristin! My husband went to highschool with your husband. Anyways, I found your blog and I'm really glad I did. I have really bad endometriosis and we've been trying to figure out where we should go for help with our infertility and I was wondering if you could give me some advice on where to go? Also, congrats on your twins. That is truly a miracle and a blessing!

Cris, Callie, and Cayten said...

Kristin, you have such a fun writing personality. I love stalking your blog. Glad everything is going well with your babies! I know all too well of the top snack cupboard reaching thieves!

Tammy said...

Glad to see there are other stalkers that follow you. One day I will meet you. Awhile back I saw you at Cafe Rio in Bountiful and I was going to introduce myself but by the time I went through the long line you had left. Hang in there cute girl. You were given this miracle for a reason and you're doing an amazing job of documenting the details. It's an awesome journey.

Kristin Bishop said...

janese,
I am so sorry you have to deal with this! I would Hands Down send you straight to Dr. Peterson and the University of Utah. He is a genius...definitely head of the department for a reason. THe truth is that people try to save money and go to their regular OB's or a different infertility clinic...but I think those places usually end up being a waste of money. Rarely to I hear success stories. Also-I didn't necessarily look at my journey as "ending" the second I got pregnant. It was a shock to find out I had endometriosis and I wanted information and life-long treatment for it...as much as I wanted a baby. I know you will be in the best hands by seeing any Dr. at the University. They are all under the supervision of Dr. Peterson and I learned to fully understand and appreciate his way of "getting to the bottom of things". He truly wants you to be healthy. He truly cares. Whoever you see...make sure they are also a endocrinologist! I learned a lot of details about my hormones and my body and what endometriosis can do:) Good luck with everything!!! I will be praying for you! kristin