First off....I PROMISE to announce the gender of my babies on FRIDAY!
If they could somehow make each day longer than 24 hours...I could manage to accomplish all of my goals/ideas/plans, etc. The thing is...after preschool and errands and play group and tumbling and work....I can't physically make my gigantic body do one more thing. I feel like a 90 year old woman. My arches give up...my back gives up....my legs throb and my feet swell.
I look fabulous come dinner time, really!
It really means so much to me that people are interested! Thank you Thank you.
It still feels like a dream.
I can hear Jarom and Jaxson snoring in my bed....and I am laying on the couch with one baby kicking my bladder and one kicking my rib cage: in complete heaven. It kinda feels like the tilt-a-whirl at lagoon. Good thing I like that ride:) I think they both might me doing somersaults in opposite directions at the moment. It is a complete miracle. Although I have felt a bit dizzy or motion sick today from the constant flipping:)
For years during my struggle with infertility I would close my eyes and try to remember every detail of my experience with Jaxson. I would pour over my ultrasound pictures and stare in unbelief at how perfectly my uterus was working:):) I just KNEW that if I could just get pregnant again...my body would know what to do. I was always confident of that. I think I was right....because they seem to be having a lot of fun in there.
I am being a really good mommy and eating an entire row of Golden Oreos right now....just to show them how much I love them tonight:):) Oh the things we do for our kids.
I have every detail of my pregnancy with Jaxson memorized and engraved on my heart. I can remember specific days/events/moments and how it felt to have him wiggling around in my belly. I remember laying in bed each night and making Jarom feel his feet pounding away at my ribs. I remember the night he kicked so hard that he broke my water! I remember how wonderul he smelled and the sound of his cry. I remember the little "old man" wrinkles on his forehead. I remember literally thinking my baby was a genius the day he learned to crawl across the family room to retrieve my bracelet:)
I wondered FOR SO LONG if I would ever get that again.
This time around:
I felt movement (4 good kicks or elbows to my left side) on Sunday, January 22nd 2012.
It hasn't stopped since.
Oh how I've been waiting for that day:)
One of the poor things got a good squishing today when I bent over to pick up the ball from the nerf gun. They punched and kicked pretty hard to notify me of my poor choice. They are POSITIVELY taking over right now and my body is no longer my own!
As promised....and for my journaling purposes, I want to write about Jaxson's first experience at the Dentist! By that I mean...more than a cleaning, sticker, toy, toothbrush and then sent on his way with a smile experience.
It turned out to be MUCH MUCH MORE than that, unfortunately.
First, I will admit that I really have no explanation for how I can make ONE little trip to the dentist something so MONUMENTAL....but I posess that unique trait:)
It was like time stopped and I had a full blown panic attack about everything in the world that I couldn't control for my children and how I was going to be forced to "GET OVER IT" while hunched over the toilet gagging...in a darling pediatric dental office that is decorated just like a magical scene out of finding Nemo.
Oh my gosh. I wish I was exaggerating.
It all started with the NEW YEAR.
With Jaxson's birthday being at the first of March...I use the New Year to do all of his check ups. I'm kinda crazy about this...but I call the first of January and line up all of his checkups and visits, etc. so that he is all ready for a Birthday! We visit the pediatrician for a checkup, we visit the dentist for a cleaning, (you get the idea).
Well....while I was brushing and flossing his teeth the other night I noticed a sugar bug (small cavity) on his molar. It was not fun for me. I should know better. YEARS of working in a dental office. YEARS of teaching in the Dental Department at Vatterott College. Holy crap...I just let my baby get a big fat cavity! I was a little stressed by it....but nothing makes me feel stress and motherly guilt like being PREGNANT. I felt like I should be arrested for child abuse.
I blame it all on the crazy H.O.R.M.O.N.E.S.
I called my mom. I told her my baby had a big fat cavity.
She said it was normal and fine and to take him to the dentist.
I complained for an hour about how guilty I felt.
The VERY NEXT morning I drove him to the dentist.
They did an exam and then the DR. pulled me aside. Oh crap.
WARNING: DOWN HILL FROM HERE!!!!!
He proceeded to tell me that my baby had several small interproximal cavities (in between his back teeth) because his teeth were so so tight. Blah blah blah.
I felt sick...and terrible that he had a few cavities...but was still rational and acting like a normal human being for the moment.
WELL...they took some xrays and what they found made me closer to fainting than anything ever has in my life.
I realize this is super lame...but Jaxson is never sick and has never had a problem in his life! He's never been really hurt or sick or had more than a small temperature before!
I was completely inexperienced in the "my child feeling pain...therefore I feel pain" category.
I NOW GET IT.
Anyhow, they tell me all of the work he needs done...say that they need to take care of 3 teeth RIGHT THEN and proceed to tell me that it will be $817.00 just for that day. They then tell me that his total work over the next 3 weeks will total 2,500.00.
FUN. Fabulous. Perfect.
My point: I could have cared less about the money! I was waiting for them to tell me when and where they were going to knock him out. Like as in SEDATE him completly so he wasn't traumatized by this horrific event in his life. If they could arrange to put me out too....and wake me up when this hellish event is over...I would be willing to pay extra.
This is when I kinda "checked out" for lack of a better word.
Like...wanted to grab my baby and run for the door.
They had him on nitrous and his little innocent self didn't know what was coming!
I came there thinking he would get a lightening mcqueen toothbrush and a sticker like he always has before...and now your telling me he needs a pulpotomy (baby root canal!) and a stainless steel crown.
I was gonna faint.
The assistant grabbed me a chair and water.
She said my face was turning white, then red, then white.
The sobbing began.
She grabbed an entire box of tissues.
Then the secretary ordered NOBODY to touch my child until I gave the OK.
Then I excused myself to the bathroom and called Jarom and my Mom.
I bawled and gagged and bawled and gagged some more.
The room was spinning.
So many thoughts going through my mind.......
I have worked in a dental office for TOOO many years of my life!!!
I know the lies they will tell him!!
I know exactly what they will say to make him cooperate...until it's too late and they have to force him to finish!! I know that they will talk about "sleepy juice in your cheek" and what they really mean is a big fat needle in my babies mouth!!! I know that they will tell him about the "tooth pillow" right before they shove the big rubber bite block in his mouth that prevents him from closing his mouth for the next 45 minutes. Then the drill...Oh the drill. It will hurt and they will say it's a motorcycle making vroom vroom noises in your mouth. They will lie!!!!
I had ZERO control.
I had to face it.
It was gonna suck for him. For the first time in my life and HIS...I couldn't fix it.
I had to be literally locked out of the room....while they took over.
Next thing you know...I was curled in a ball in the bathroom while my child was being drilled on... saying these things to my husband & mom...."What am I doing? I can't have TWO more kids! They will get hurt. Things could happen to them! They could get sick. They could get cavitites! I can't protect them. My heart is breaking in half! What have I done??? I can't be pregnant with TWINS. What in the crap am I going to do with 3 kids....walking around this world and I can't protect them from everything!"
Jarom listened to my ranting and raving and nervous breakdown for like 2 seconds before he said..."STOP THEM....We'll pay whatever...just tell them we want to put him to sleep!"
I'm not sure he'll admit it...but I think the entire scenario stressed him out a little too:)
Jaxson is his little buddy....and I'm pretty sure the thought of him in pain was impossible to stomach.
I must say....it was awful.
I pulled it together enough to peek in the room and see him kicking his legs...and crying OUCH....and I escorted my butt right back to the bathroom to cry it out.
Fast forward ONE HOUR...the longest HOUR of my life.
I walk into his room and he's wearing the cutest little nitrous mask on his nose.
He smiles a crooked smile at me and says....
"Mom, please don't take this off....it's fun!
Great. He likes drugs.
"Mom, please don't take this off....it's fun!
Great. He likes drugs.
I had tears streaming down my face.
I was exhausted.
I had sweat through my 4 layers of shirts.
It was over.
First thing we did was head straight to Walmart and I let him buy 3 toys. One for each tooth I failed to take care of:) ha ha. Actually...one for each tooth he was brave enough to get fixed!
He is soooo proud of his little silver tooth.
He shows EVERYONE.
The next morning I woke up and walked into my bathroom.
There he sat with a little hand mirror...admiring his silver tooth.
The whole thing didn't even phase him.
The honest truth: he has asked about 10 times when we can go back and he can get another cavity...so he can get another toy of his choice!!!
The little crap!!!
I guess this mom of his isn't too hard to figure out:)
p.s. the good news for him is he gets to go back 3 more times! hahahaha.
Only....His grandma or Dad will be taking him until my pregnancy hormones are under control.
p.s. I now floss my kids teeth every night.
Even if I'm tired and sick.