I didn't plan on posting...or blogging tonight.
Heck, I haven't even washed or styled my hair for 3 days...why would I have time to browse pinterest or form thoughts important enough to write down?!?
Did I mention I have the worst sinus infection/chest cold in the free world???
I do.
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Add that to the ever growing list of things that are wrong with me and it was crisis mode at my house the last few days.
Tuesday night my mom arrived and saved me.
She brought homemade chicken noodle soup...and took my child far away where I wouldn't have to pretend to "enjoy" fighting with light sabers, cut his peanut butter jelly sandwhich into a pumpkin shape with a cookie cutter, fill 6-8 sippies of milk a day and heaven forbid: think of something to cook for dinner.
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A moment ago I scrolled back through my blog and noticed a post from only about 1 MONTH ago. I said something along the lines of: My goals for Fall are to...
1-take evening walks with my boys
2-make a homemade dinner instead of hitting bajio everynight:)
3- Give Jaxson a bedtime!
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THAT was honestly one of the funniest things I've read in FOREVER!!!
I have been so sick and stressed and overwhelmed that I haven't thought ANYTHING was funny in a while. (except yesterday's episode of Modern Family of course:) and that list of goals, although admirable, was PRETTY DARN HILARIOUS.
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When I compared my "GOALS" to the "REALITY" of the last month...I laughed hysterically. It's a good thing...because I could have really felt like a failure, but I'm too tired to cry.
The truth:
1- I haven't "walked" or exercised in an entire month. Unless you count taking laundy upstairs AND I mostly pile it on the stairs and make Jaxson do it.
2- We HAVE eaten at Bajio 4 out of the last 6 nights (including tonight). I almost understand spanish...and they don't even need to ask what I want anymore. By the way, the other 2 nights my mother drove to layton and cooked my family dinner while I about died.
3- Jaxson doesn't have a bedtime and I need to accept that he never will. I have this wierdo idea that "good mothers" enforce bedtimes. Therefore, I inflict a great deal of guilt on myself when it's 11:00 p.m. and Jaxson is still watching netflix. Why do I care?? I haven't gotten in trouble for it in 4.5 years...and I probably won't. Also, the odds of me losing at "worlds greatest mother" are pretty good and he still loves me. I've got to let this dream/goal go I think:)
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Life is hard right now!
I'm not accomplishing as much as I'd like to right now!
I am REALLY leaning on my friends, neighbors and family right now!
I am probably stressing my husband out right now!
and it's ok.
Cuz, nobody's perfect.
...and as my bestest friend Rachel said to me during my "free" therapy session today on her couch
"this too shall pass"
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I can't wait til it does....
I have big plans.
AND A GIGANTIC LIST OF people to Thank and Serve and Make it up to:)
Me
3 comments:
I've been thinkin of you all day and hope this morning went well. I agree with Rachel too btw. Thankfully the Lord throws the hard fast pitches but follows with love and kindness. I hope you feel Him as you struggle through this! Call me...I'm here for ya!
Hey Kristin! Sorry things are hard for you right now. Hopefully there will be a silver lining real soon!
Kristin, I know this seems strange, but I have been reading your blog for awhile now, I just haven't dared leave a comment. I am not some strange stalker, in fact your Father in Law was my husbands baseball coach awhile back. But after reading your last couple of posts, I have just really felt like now is the time to leave a comment. First off my husband sells alarms and would be more then happy to come and give you details, that would have been so scary to have your child walk out of your house and not know it! Also you are not alone on having struggles in life. Right now is one of the hardest times of my life, it has been the last few years. I have good days and many days were I would rather climb in a hole and leave all my blinds closed tight so I don't have to face life. I'm sure our struggles are different, but it doesn't matter we still can feel hurt and sadness in many of the same ways. Oh how I wish we were friends that could help each other through a difficult time! If you ever want to talk with a stranger or if you want more info about the alarms email me at courtneydaun.callister@gmail.com. Also you will have to check out our blog so you don't think I am a really strange stalker:)thecallistercrew.blogspot.com
Hope you get feeling better soon, Courtney
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