I ate a bug.
It was as horrific and disturbing as it sounds.
It was over before it happened...or before I even KNEW it was happening....so I cannot recount the event in great detail. I just know that it was disgusting and awful and traumatizing.
One minute I'm having a nice chat with the primary president and the next I'm thinking "It's going to have babies in my stomach!?!?! and trying not to gag and bawl.
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I couldn't think about it for a while...and instead I ingested the first thing I could get my hands on: a ziplock bag full of skittles in my car. I came up with this rationalization: The more I swallowed...the less of a chance the little bugger would have of making a comeback:)
Do you agree? I thought it made great sense.
Oh....My....Gosh.
SICK!
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I was ALSO one inch from a car accident today...involving ME and a Metal Pole....when I recognized that a wasp was accompanying me on my drive home from J&J Nursery. Why do people say "They don't bother you if you don't bother them." Who are they kidding? Why do they lie? They freaking seek you out and attack for no dang reason on earth! They are evil.
I have 3 fears in this world. 1. Bees 2. Sharks 3. Choking.
I literally FREAK in a not-so-graceful way about these items.
Jarom reminds me often that number 2 is stupid...because I don't live near an ocean. Whatever. YOU just watch...the one time I get in a year....it will find me and bite one of my limbs off. No thanks. I'll leave that for those INVICIBLE people (some of which ARE missing limbs) that think it won't happen to them:)....but does. I'm not stupid. I watch discovery Health and Animal Planet:)
As for Bees....Well well well...I despise them above all else. Words that should never be uttered by a "lady" fly out of my mouth un-announced when one gets near me. It is awful...and this also happened to me today...in the worst place imaginable. The Car...where you are trapped and helpless:)
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Choking is in a league of it's own! I CANNOT hear the sound of coughing or choking or anything resembling it. This evening in Costco I witnessed a baby choke on a churro. I know...I know...I about gave the Father a piece of my mind. Jarom got after me for giving my "are you going to sit there for another 10 minutes while she is gasping for air" look....and told me I wasn't allowed to stare. Well then....make sure your child is breathing and not eating food made for adults:)
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MOVING ON!!!!
Can I say that MUCH is on my mind today/this week!!!
Spring is in full swing...and MANY great things are coming up.
Many OVERWHELMING and tiring things as well....but what is the Good without the Bad!
I made a list of things that will be happening in the next 5 weeks here at the Bishop Household....and then I threw it away because it overwhelmed the crap out of me.
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I will sum it up by saying that I've lived a privileged life of 25 years without ever knowing anything about or participating in any kind of lawn, yard or landscaping work. I have my work cut out for me:) I spent 3 hours at J&J Nursery today asking questions that I didn't know I cared about! AND I didn't...UNTIL NOW.
1. How wide to Phlox Spread?
2. How tall does a Chanticleer Flowering Pear Tree grow?
3. What are those spikey grassy looking plants called?
4. Price of Mulch in a Dark Brown Please and Playground Bark in bulk?
3. What is your hardest plant to kill?
THAT'S RIGHT...landscaping is hard work!!! Who knew.
It is an art I never knew existed and I am a perfectionist freak who decides to learn/read/ask/research everything about a subject before embarking on it!
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I am getting really excited...and compared to the task of building this entire house....the yard seems totally do-able! I've got this. I am having a lot of fun walking the neighborhoods in the evenings...scoping out the plants and flowers and gorgeous trees that I like. It is going to be a blast...and an eye opener...I'm sure!
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I did enjoy trips to Sam's Club A LOT better when I checked out with a good book, cute new couch pillows or a new set of sheets....BUT instead....tonight my receipt listed things like:
2 (120 ft) Garden hoses
1 Wheel Barrow
Planters, Planters and MORE Planters
55 Qt. Bag of Potting Soil
blah
blah
blah
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I also spent the morning arranging our Pest Control Regimine. Whoever told me to buy a house instead of Rent is ridiculously underestimating my energy level! Supposedly the "BUGNAPPERS" have to come 4 times a year:) Fun fun fun.
Sign me up.
That sounds like A LOT more fun than spending my extra money on a dinner and a movie.
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Let the Work Begin!
It is stressful and overwhelming...but OH so gratifying. It feels good to work hard on something and see the desired result! I am grateful for a place to live...and will be SOOOO grateful and excited for a lawn to let Jaxson run wild on!
Even though I was attacked by a bee....had jaxson run over my new glitter toes with his Power wheel four wheeler...swallowed a bug...and almost wrecked my car....TODAY was just perfect!!!
I learned so much and had such a wonderful and productive day!!!
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Happy Tuesday!
Tuesdays are the Best day of the week: BIGGEST LOSER BABY.
On at 7:00. Don't miss it.
Me
4 comments:
Please don't think I'm a weirdo (cuz I promise I'm not :) but I found your blog through a friends and have been reading it for awhile. I felt kind of guilty, so I decided I had to tell you! I LOVE your blog! You are freakin' hilarious, your family is so cute, and I get a luagh every time I read. Thanks.
You will LOVE working in your yard and having one! I hated yard work growing up, but now JC and I have to fight over who gets to mow the lawn. Have fun! :)
Oh my heck Kristin, I'm dying right now. You are hilarious! I can't believe you are tackling this whole yard thing. It wears me out just hearing you talk about it. I think I'll just hire someone really good and let them surprise me! Good luck though, I'm sure it's going to turn out just as beautiful as you imagine it to be.
Oh, you asked when we move...I leave on May 16th and Joel is driving back with his dad the next day. I'm so freaking excited! I love Utah.
sarah!
Thanks for commenting! I love meeting people through my blog:) I am so glad you like it enough to come back! It makes me happy to know people actually see it and/or read my ranting!
Kristin
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