Monday, April 20, 2009

...I never used binkies...

sitting

I never used binkies...


....SPECIFICALLY.... so my child wouldn't become COMPLETELY attached to something that I, inevitably, would ONE DAY have to rip away from him!!! I just didn't like the idea...or understand it. It broke my heart...and I really didn't want to put him through something that wasn't necessary. While I was pregnant I would daydream for hours about the first few months of my child's life...he fussed...easy, shove a binky in!...he cried during church,... piece of cake, shove a binky in!...he was scared, no problem...Binky to the rescue (for comfort, of course)! I was smart. See--I knew that he would learn quickly...that he NEEDED it..regardless of if it's inability to Really fulfill any critical need.


(Other than cause some pretty darn funky-lookin teeth when he was older).




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I just didn't fall in love with that idea. So I didn't do it.


Now...this didn't come without it's comments!!! For the first few weeks of his life...I thought my mother was going to burst into tears almost hourly FOR my sweet baby boy...who I was purposely depriving of this sweet luxury. It had to be abuse. It just had to be!!! Her looks made me feel so so guilty...and they might have made me laugh....just a little :O

serious


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Let me clarify....I am NOT against binkies, nor do I hate when people use them. Actually, I clearly remember buying 10 packs of those things in multiple nipple shapes and sizes and taking approx. 6 with me to the hospital for his arrival! (See---I needed to make sure I had one in every color) as to MAKE SURE they did not clash with his little baby onsie, 4th of July outfit and/or bringing home ensemble:)


oh, please...I was so stupid.


Pretty darn sure I had one to match any possible outfit that could arise!

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In my efforts to prevent him from becoming "ATTACHED" to anything I purposely and tirelessly sewed blanket after blanket while he was still a cookin'. (I was still preggo)


"OVER MY DEAD BODY will he have a "favorite"...I thought..."I will give him so many choices...he won't know what to do with himself! He will never ever have a "COMPLETE MELTDOWN FIT" in the middle of the store because... WHOOPS...mommy forgot "blanky".


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My face would never turn red...I wouldn't begin sweating...feel the panic set in as I pushed my cart full of frozen goods to the checkout JUST KNOWING what was about to take place. That was NEVER going to happen to me....


---or so I thought---


WELL



I will be the first to admit it....


My plan didn't work. At all.




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No matter how hard I try to keep him from becoming attached to a particlar "thing"...it won't work. SURE...he has MANY favorite things...but these two are in a league of their own.

Meet: Football...and "LELLOW" Blanky.


I finally succumbed to his persistence.


snuggle

I would offer him different blankets each night to sleep with...and the kid would scream and beg until he saw it/felt it/smelled it/or used any sense imaginable to "know" it had entered his presence. I am not kidding.


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He even has 2 blankets that are sewn EXACTLY the same...the same ragged edges...the same striped pattern...JUST DIFFERENT COLORS...and you better prepare for WORLD WAR 3 if...let's just say hypothetically....that the yellow one is dirty and wet in the washer and you forgot to put it in the dryer...and you try and pass that "other" one off for "LELLOW BLANKY" in the dark, black of middle of the night!

You will fail.


Because


He is...gulp....sigh......"ATTACHED".

...and all your planning and controlling and plotting and sewing and depriving him of binkies....didn't prevent it.


blanket


He is also quite attached to his Sports Balls.

Lately his NFL Football joins us on our outings...but depending on the day it could be his soccer ball, or cubbies (Chicago Cubs) baseball bat.


Yes...you heard me right...Jarom has instilled a Love for the Chicago Cubs in this little boy...and last week the CUBS BAT (a BASEBALL BAT people...not a stuffed animal...or something small like, oh let's say...a binky...but a freaking bat) went on all of our errands with us! How fun...and how NOT embarrassing. At all.


football

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giggle

How could you resist though...when you see this face.

They both make him so happy...that I give in:)

football 2

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back

*** Moving on ***

...or moving Backwards (to yesterday) I should say...

Sunday was wonderful...

My family had an after-church baseball game in the yard. It was fun. I still possess skills from ponytail softball I quickly found out! Right on.

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I also had the opportunity to share a bit about my "MARRIAGE" in Sacrament meeting. That was nice...although, I'd prefer to not profess my love for Jarom in front of a congretation of approx. 300 people. A high councilmen was asked to speak in Sacrament on Marriage...and (I guess) he felt inspired to ask me (the married for a whole 5 years...pro) to share what attracted me to Jarom...and how we sustain a Happy and Eternal Marriage.

I figured I would share my 5 essential factors of Marriage HERE..on the blog...Lucky you!

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Because it was actually very helpful to stop and take a minute to analyze how we work the way we work (me and jarom that is:) I suggest you get together with your spouse and try it.

What are your 5 essential factors???

(I'm sure everyone's are different)

....Mine are below....

piggy back

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me and jar

The comments in RED are the ones that were LEFT OUT OF SACRAMENT MEETING for obvious reasons...but are nontheless...a part of what makes us "the Bishops".

1- First is “Humor”. Humor plays a HUGE role in my marriage and was a key factor in dating and initially attracting us to one another. We love to laugh…and feel like humor helps us through what could otherwise be stressful situations. It also creates similar interests and hobbies that strengthen our friendship. It makes life enjoyable and the journey a little bit easier. (our serious obsession with Owen Wilson and "The Office" really work to our advantage)

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2-The Second is “Sharing similar Long-term goals”. We discussed our plans, goals and aspirations for the future countless times before marriage and do so regularly still. We love knowing that we have eternity to work towards these things….together. We constantly re-evaluate and re-prioritize our lives so we can work together as a team and as loving parents. (I spent a lot of time PRE-marrying Jarom convincing him that he could coach our son's little league baseball game ON THE SIDE..instead of FOR A LIVING)

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3- The Third Factor is “Communication”. The first few years of marriage are known to be the hardest! Meshing 2 different families, lives and traditions is no small task. Constant open-communication is something that helps Jarom and I raise our concerns…share our opinions…and show our love. It helps create a lasting friendship and an attitude of compromise.

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4-The Fourth is “Making each other a priority”. Marriage is drastically different than dating. It often brings with it responsibilities, stresses, jobs, schooling and countless other things that consume your time and attention. It is critical to look for activities that you can do together as a couple and family. Time management helps me and Jarom balance spending quality time together....with work and our other obligations.

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5-The Fifth is “Selecting a companion that makes you want to be better”. I wanted to find an eternal companion who encouraged me to achieve my goals and reach my full potential. Who was a constant support and friend and someone I looked up to and admired. I wanted someone who had a strong testimony of the gospel and helped me continue to learn and strengthen mine.

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Hope you have a wonderful week

Here's to fewer meltdowns in grocery stores over our kids "attachment items"....whatever they may be!!!

Love, Me

9 comments:

Cris, Callie, and Cayten said...

your blog is great . . . I love the uniqueness . . . I too despised the binkies, but my son fell in love with his thumb and blanket, far worse I would say. So far, Clarysa didn't want a binkie, thumb, or blanket. . . I am sure it will come though!

Simkins said...

Hey, Jaxson is so dang cute! Owen can't stop talking about him and I can't get over his deep raspy voice(I love it!!). Let's play this week, call me if you don't have any plans. I love all the pictues of Jax. Talk to you soon.

Erin said...

I thought the same thing about binkies and REALLY don't like them because parents are constantly panicking about not having binkies. Both of my kids learned to suck their thumbs on their own which I LOVE in some way and absolutely HATE in other ways. How do you take a thumb away from a 4 year old? or a 2 year old? And as far as the toys or blankets that they get attached to, both of my kids are attached to something. I thought I was in the clear with Claire and she wouldn't get attached to any object. I was so excited because it gets annoying hauling a huge blanket all over town but last year right after Claire turned one we went to Texas to visit Johns parents. Claire got really sick while his parents had the kids and Johns mom took the kids to the store to buy some new clothes (she threw up on ALL of them while in the car). Johns mom let Claire pick out a stuffed animal and she picked her little yellow duck and without fail that duck goes EVERYWHERE. It is nice to have your kid attached to something because you know that when they aren't with you they can be attached to something else which is nice though.

We have set limits with Caleb. He can always have his blanket at home and he CAN take his blanket into the car with us anywhere that we go so he will fall asleep better in the car or just have some comfort but he is NOT allowed to ever bring his blanket into the store or anywhere else with us. Claire is still little so I let her take her duck but she knows that if she isn't going to carry it by herself that it has to stay in the car because I'm not hauling it around for her. Its hard to know what to do with your kids in some ways having things they are attached to is such a BLESSING but in so many other ways its a CURSE and annoying.

I just try to remember that even as adults we have things that we are attached to like our favorite pair of pajamas or our wedding rings or whatever it is. We hate to not have certain things with us; kids are the same way.

Cute Pictures! Sorry that was so long.

Erin P.

Bryce & Brittany said...

That's hilarious!! Nothing like taking a baseball bat everywhere you go. I was a witness to the "lellow banky" fettish! But it's oh so cute!! I love the pictures too! Cute, cute!

Carin said...

Cute pictures! Seriously, can you fly out here and take pictures of Zenock?? I am dying trying to find someone. You do a great job! Jaxson is going to be a heartbreaker. I'm sure he already is... :) I love the "lellow blanky" attachment and the baseball bat. So cute.

You are a great story teller, I love reading your fun blog. :)

US! said...

You are so wise.... There are so many people who haven't quite gotten the concepts that you have shared. I'm sure if they could even PARTLY follow your guidelines their marriages would be MUCH happier. Thanks for your thoughts!

And the whole thing about the Binky.... Thats a huge debate I keep thinking about! You're so freakin darling!

Lauren Anderson said...

You are such a great writer, Kristin! Your stories are so funny and your little boy is adorable!

T!!!! said...

Hey Kristin!

I have to admit that I am one of your blog stalkers. I love it...all of your photos are awesome, and really do have the cutest little boy. You are such a great story teller even if it is your own story. I love it! I know that it takes a lot of time to keep up with blogging and new ideas are rough, but each and everyone of your blogs is entertaining and enjoyable to read.

With your permission I was wondering if I could put your blog on my list of blogs that I read? Have a great week and enjoy all of this sun! No more "watching" it snow for you and Jaxson I hope!

Ruth Peterson said...

Hi Kristin! Love keeping up with your little family via your blog! When our Kyler (or Kyler-doodle-do, or Doodlebug, or Doo) was about the age of Jax and Brenner, he had a raggedy, (pink!) jumprope that went everywhere with us. I have a studio Halloween pic of him as Batman with that darn rope wrapped around his arm. And imagine our surprise one day in Sac Mtng when we heard a whistling sound--and realized he.was.twirling.it.over.his.head...! The little old ladies behind us were ducking and smiling! :) They do grow out of them...sigh...