This post was entirely inspired by you Deb. I enjoyed reading your recent post...and decided that a "vent session" is exactly what I need as well. I love blogging. It's something about reading that other people's lives have the "all too familiar" ups and downs that mine do...that makes me feel better:)
...on my mind...
1) Sick baby. Jaxson has yet to be sick in his little 13 month life. Until now. He has never even had so much as a sniffle...until Now. He is so so so sick. He has a terrible virus and an ear infection in his left ear. How in the crap???? My kid never sees other children, doesn't go to daycare, hardly leaves the house...what did I do??? The worst part is I totally got frustrated at him the other day for refusing to eat. He had been refusing for almost 3 days...and kept swatting at the food each time I got the spoon to his little lips. I am so stubborn...my first thought was , "oh ya kid, you will sit in that highchair until you eat this jar of vegetable beef...if it takes 3 hours!"
I deserve to die!
I started to put it all together on Monday evening...and by the time I rushed him to an emergency appointment at 6 p.m. on Monday....he had a fever and was NOT looking good. I think this is harder on me than it is him. We will survive. THEN...I think he had an allergic reaction to Amoxicillan because he woke up with a giant red rash on his face. I freaked. It has been a long few days...but things are looking up:)
2) Today I spent the majority of my day packing. I hate it. I am sick of it. I want it to be over already. I am such a complainer:) I love to clean and organize, don't get me wrong...de-junking and taking load after load to the salvation army gives me the best feeling ever:) I'm wierd, I know. Unfortunately my child (is who understandably irritable) is GREAT at unpacking things. As quickly as I can get an item placed in a box...and the next item in my hands....the box is unloaded onto the kitchen floor and he is grinning up at me with his little gap-toothed smile.
I have had a chance to reflect on my pre-jaxson self while packing up my house. I'll explain. For example, I was going through my desk in which I have hanging file folders. To my amazement I found EVERY SINGLE RECEIPT that had ANY KIND OF BABY ITEM on it, that was purchased for the entire duration of my pregnancy. Let me add...that they were also alphabetized and located on the top of each receipt was written with sharpie: Jaxson's 0-3 month white onesies, blue/white baby shoes, blue blanket, etc.
I didn't know whether I should laugh at how pathetically anul I was....or cry that I could NEVER find time for that now even if I WOULD LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING to be that pathetically anul. :)
On a lighter...less negative note...I am so excited to be packing too. Though it is a lot of work...I am so looking forward to this new start and the adventure that awaits.
3)The Housewives of Orange County. I have lived away from Utah for so long now...I am no longer sure of what TV shows are available! Nor am I familiar any longer with the news anchors, weather man or radio stations I prefer. So I'm not sure if most of you will know what I am referring to. (I know that is a totally off the wall thought...but when I moved to Nebraska that was a huge adjustment!!!) TV...the News...NOBODY I RECOGNIZED. It made me homesick.
Anyhow...every once in a while (ok every single night) I get home from work and put jaxson and jarom to bed :)....THEN it's "ME TIME". This time usually is from 11:00 p.m. until 2:oo a.m. That's right. I have not been to bed earlier than 1 or 2 a.m. in MONTHS. I usually take a bubble bath, read, blog, photoshop, OR watch pathetic TV junk like I did last night.... "The Real Despearate Housewives of Orange County"! Ha. It's like a train wreck...so incredibly awful...but you just can't look away! oh-I also ate a 6 pack of mini-reeses and half of box of whoppers...sick! I was laughing so hard I was afraid I would wake Jarom. Have any of you seen this show??? So pathetic...but it happens to be on the "I will miss this" LIST. hee hee.
4) Scary Movies. I am a total baby when it comes to scary movies. I rather laugh than cry... thanks!!! Anyhow...the other night my students convinced me to watch "Disturbia" (some of you are laughing...but this is as scary as it gets for me folks) and so I did. They told me it was NOT scary....but they lied. I Hate scary movies. I seriously have been having nightmares. AND..because of the beginning...I will need to be tranquilized during the long, winding drive to Lake Powell this summer. I've always had a phobia of driving on roads like that! Not to mention I have visions of someone jumping me in the walmart parking lot at night...and I totally beat the crap out of them. Scary movies give me crazy dreams. ha ha ha.
5) Lastly, I am so excited (for the gazillionth time) to move to Utah!!! I can't explain the feeling. When I fly home (and I have TONS of times the last three years) I get the warmest, bestest feeling ever when I see Salt Lake City!!! Everyone on the plane (usually people from Omaha going on business trips to SLC) oooohhh and aaaahhh over the beautiful mountains as we descent. I love Utah. I love that I am not an "oddity" there. That people don't think "mormon" = "polygamist"! I have never been more excited to live closer to a garment store or LDS distribution center in my life!!! I am excited to eat at Cafe Rio...I'm excited to never miss a family outing or barbeque...or cousins baptism...or baby blessing...or family christmas party EVER AGAIN. I can't wait to call my sister and say "hey, do you want to go to lunch...ok, I'll be right over!" Instead of hug her in the airport and say "see you at christmas"...even though it's freaking MAY 1st! I can't wait to WALK to church...instead of drive 20 minutes to the nearest church house...I can't wait to go on a walk with Jaxson and not be afraid of getting mugged or killed:) I'm being serious. The list goes on....but I'll save some...since I'm almost positive I'll have another day similar to this one before the move is official!
I feel a huge sense of relief that I did it...and now I get to come home. I remember the day my parents drove off and left me here....scared the crap out of me to be honest...and at the very same moment, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to me!