Monday, May 7, 2012

Ogden Regional:)

It's been a very unexpected weekend.

When I went to the Doctor on Thursday afternoon...after running errands all morning, doing prep work for preschool, dropping by a baby shower and paying bills...I didn't expect that I wouldn't be going back home.

Sure--- I was hurting....contracting...and swollen to the most ugliest proportions....but I keep going. That's just what I do.

So...when I was admitted to the hospital instead of doing everything else on my list that evening...I was quite emotional.
1- I was going to spend the night getting Jaxson new Baseball pants for the upcoming Tball season.
2- I was going to make Jarom put up baby swing #2.
3- I was going to make a slideshow of all the darling pictures of my preschoolers over this school year. 
4- My garage is full of geraniums that I bought to fill my planters and get the porch looking springy and ready for these babies to come home! haha. They are probably dead now.
(I am one step away from psycho...but I call it nesting...so don't be rude to me)

All of the above was MY PLAN....Until....my doctor said I didn't have a choice.
I guess contractions every 5-6 minutes...that were lasting quite a while...weren't considered
"Braxton Hicks"
bummer

I'm officially in Pre-Term Labor.

******
Sitting still is the exact OPPOSITE of what comes natural for me.
I'm quite certain that BEDREST is impossible for most women....but it takes a concoction of meds and 2 Valium on a regular basis to keep me in this bed.
...even after that...I cry a lot.

My body is physically exhausted.

I miss Jaxson so badly it hurts my heart.


----

The nurse stopped in yesterday night to say that my Doctor (who has NEVER done this) called the hospital on Sunday evening to make sure that I have been able to spend time with my son.

I thnk he knows that Jaxson is my sanity.

Well....I definitely have a handsome little visitor daily...who cuddles with me and kisses the babies.
He even whispers secrets to them and tells them to stay put!
He has mastered the buttons on my bed....and we cuddle up and watch movies.

(watching Meet the Robinson's in mom's hospital bed)


He loves taking trips to the cafeteria with dad and he's doing a fabulous job without his mama.

All is fine and well until he leaves at night.
We both bawl like babies.
His tears break my heart.
We don't do "separation" that well.....me and my little man.


The concensus is that the babies are doing WONDERFUL. Perfect actually and they are happy as can be in there. Thank goodness. My body on the other hand...has reached capacity. My "frame" is done wanting to stretch and grow they say...and my uterus feels and acts like it's 39 to 40 weeks pregnant.

Considering that my body kicked Jaxson out at 36 weeks & 6 days....and he was 7.5 pounds....I can understand where it's coming from. It wants to be done. 

Right now we are successfully taking a combo of meds that are forcing my body to slow down and let them hang out inside a little longer. It's kinda painful:)  



The thing is...I relax MORE when I am busy.
Relaxing to me...is getting things accomplished.
My hands and mind need to be busy.
So...this is really a challenge for me.

Don't get me wrong....I hear from EVERYONE about how important these babies are...and how important this time is for them....and I'm pretty certain NOBODY ON THE PLANET could love them and care for them more than me....their mom. Which is precisely why I will sit here and let every muscle in my body deteriorate while trying to keep them comfy and cozy INSIDE.

However, life doesn't stop.

I have another baby too.
(I know people are taking care of him)
I have a husband.
(He WANTS me to rest)
I have a house and a yard.
(Who cares...and jarom is taking care of it all)
I have a job
(It can wait...people understand)
I have a calling.
(They prefer I sit here and rest as well!)

BUT...

Those things run through my brain and keep me up at night as I am MENTALLY pulled into mulitple directions. The guilt. The stress. The obligation. The NEED and DESIRE I have to finish everything. And finish it well.

-----
Against all odds...I have agreed to stay and try to relax and enjoy the....
Room service.
Naps.
Medicine to keep me out of pain and somewhat sleepy:)
Cup after Cup of crushed ice.
Strawberry Cheesecake
Quiet alone time with Jarom.

I guess it is worth the thousands of dollars they are probably charging me each day:) I wish it felt more like a 5 star vacation. Ha!

-----

It just makes everything seem soooooo REAL being here!
I am having TWO babies and I am very nervous and excited.

------

ANYHOW....

Jarom just left me at the hospital....for the first time.

Did I cry?
ummm....bawled.

I need that man more than anything else in the world.
He is the ONLY person who can calm me.

Last night the meds wore off and the contractions started.
 I sat up immediately and Jarom climbed into my teeny tiny hospital bed and rubbed me until the next medication time an hour later. 

When the doctor came in to check on me today...I think he was shocked to see us spooning in this little bed. hee hee. Especially because I take up 3/4 of the bed FOR SURE.

It is not uncommon for us to be found SMASHED into this little bed so I'm close to him and can actually sleep:)

Too bad the man is still healing from a major surgery only 1 week ago!
Someday we will look back at this time and be amazed at ourselves:) haha.

(Jarom's knee...picture taken by Jaxson and my iphone....ONE week post ACL reconstruction surgery)


Tonight could be rough without him...but I wanted Jaxson to spend ONE night with his dad instead of being shuffled from place to place.
----

Thanks so much for all the calls, texts, emails and thoughtful prayers sent my way.
Things are going great and my babies are doing fabulous.
I am taking things one day at a time.

I'll say it again..it's a good thing I'm stubborn....because these babies are staying in for a little while longer and I will win. Every single day is an accomplishment:)

xoxo

kristin

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Oh, Kristin! Can I bring any books or DVD's? You are so tough and you can do this! It is going to be so great when all four of you are home together where you belong! Please let me know if I can bring supplies!

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maranda said...

How much longer are they wanting to keep them in there? Aren't you full term at the end of this month? I can only imagine how hard bed rest would be...Hang in there! Any names yet?

Sabrina said...

I know what it feels like to have nothing to do after so much busy-ness as a mother....and you're the busiest mom ever!

Love you so much and am glad you're finding time to rest and prepare for those beautiful babies.

I love that you have such a strong relationship with little Jaxon and that you can still cuddle with Jarom in that bed. :)