Thursday, May 17, 2012

My List of Positives:)

Today was a pretty good day:)
Not fabulous or super fun....because remember how I'm locked up and GIGANTIC?!?

 I must say that out of the
14 days...(2 entire weeks people) that I have been hospitalized
 it was one of the better ones.

p.s. This is a picture of my belly:) 2-3 weeks ago I think??
Large and in charge. For sure.

Having my family be split up and still the most difficult thing I've ever experienced.

I recently finished reading "Heaven Is Here" by NieNie and as I read I could feel her pain through her words...not the physical pain...but the emotional and mental toll that being separated from your children could cause. The guilt. The mourning of lost time.

 That broke my heart for her the most. Can you imagine losing MONTHS of time with your children?
It was only 2 days after finishing her book that I was stuck in here...and when I'm feeling really depressed or like I'm "missing out" on Jaxson's Tball games, Soccer Games, or warm days at the park....I think of her.  

She is slowly recovering from the burns and the physical scars...but to MISS OUT on even one day, week or month of your babies childhood is life-altering.

Tonight Jarom showed me the video clip of BOTH of Jaxson's homeruns this week during his Tball game. I was smiling from ear to ear and felt like I could burst I was so excited to watch it over and over and over. I can't decide if watching him whack it clear into the outfield or his little sweat bands makes me more happy.

Jaxson is amazing me with his ability to wake up in a new place everyday and head in a different direction. The hospital gave him a big stuffed gorilla/monkey and he takes it everywhere with him to "remind him of me". Isn't that sweetest?

He told my friend the other day that when he carries the monkey....he feels like I'm with him too.

Pause to feel bad for me:( or wipe tears of complete and utter depression from your face. that was gut wrenching for me to hear.


For the most part though...he is feeling pretty special.
He is getting spoiled rotten and getting so many fun experiences that he wouldn't otherwise.

Because I have been complaining like a crazy person on this blog of mine.....I decided to share a few positives!
HERE GOES....Get ready:)

1. My babies are still inside. I have successfully held them in for 2 weeks since being admitted and practically in labor. Go me. My goal is holding them for 2 more weeks. It will never happen...but hey, dream big I say.  

2. Jarom told me that we've saved a lot of money in the last 2 weeks with me being locked up and unable to shop:) He said that our credit card has never looked so good!!! he was pushing me on my evening wheelchair ride outdoors for some fresh air:) haha! (now just wait until he gets the hospital bill)  Instead of reminding him what that will look like....I decided to let him be happy for the time being.

3. Today I got up, showered, did my hair and makeup, paid bills and started filling out darling boy/girl baby albums for the twins. I found the most perfect Keepsake Albums at Deseret Book a few months ago...and I realized that I would have NEVER had the time to fill out everything in such detail if I wasn't locked up on bedrest:) It is fun to reflect on my pregnancy and details that will be fun to tell them about in the future!

4. My Jaxson came to visit me for 45 minutes this afternoon and we went outside and sat on a blanket under the shade of a tree. It was short and sweet but even seeing him and knowing that he is happy makes me at peace.

5. My Nail lady made a "house call" and came to the hospital to fill my nails and do the cutest glitter toes ever. My swollen sausage toes look SOOOOO ADORABLE:)

6.  I am happily looking forward to the day I return home and appreciate the simple things like TVO and all of my recorded shows that are waiting for me:) I know what you're thinking....I will never have time for TV with newborn twins!!To which I respond: Of course I will...I will most likely be nursing 7 out of every 10 hours of the day....from the couch. Perfect time to play catch up.  

7.  Today my Sister-in-law Kesley tended my Jaxson. She took him swimming in her families gorgeous backyard pool and then to hold/play with puppies and chickens. It is so much easier to relax and endure my THREE NST'S, bloodwork and testing each day KNOWING he's having a blast. He then requested spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and then spent 2 hours in the hot tub! Uncle Ryan and Aunt Kelsey know how to spoil:)

8. I raided the gift shop today...and it was fun. I love to browse and shop. I just do:) I don't really like online shopping's more about the getting "out" and the looking and seeing in person. I had a little fun in the ONLY store within wheelchair pushing distance. I got Jaxson and both the babies the most darling fuzzy Lion you've ever they can all have a matching toy. Tomorrow I plan on writing them each a special letter to go with it that explains just how much they each mean to me, about this time spent in the hospital and a little about the sacrifices that we each must make during this life that aren't easy....but are always worth it.

9. I also bought various other things...including an assortment of To-do lists and post-it notes. Aaaggghhhhh......I finally feel at home:) haha. Jarom came home (to the hospital) from work tonight and was busy doing prep work for his BIG TRIAL from his bed (the rocking chair in the corner of my room) and asked me..."you don't happen to have any post-it's do you??"

ummmmm......ask and you shall receive.
I walked over to my LARGE bag from the gift shop and handed him an assortment pack of all sizes and shapes of sticky notes in hot pink polka dot print.

Jarom responded...
"What the hell is all that?" as he pointed to my Hallmark bag of "gift shop finds"
....and then we both laughed....because it's been approximately 24 hours since he congratulated me on not purchasing some kind of knick knack or toy for the kids or for organizing:)


Hey...he's darn lucky I did.
Heaven forbid he didn't have post-its while he's busy prepping for trial.

He did, however, say that he's embarrassed for anyone to see that they are covered in hot pink polka dots. Something about him not being taken seriously?!?! haha. His client is only on trial for 10 years to life...and Jarom's notes look like they are straight out of legally blonde:)

from Ogden Regional


I will leave you with a picture from a shower a few weeks ago...
You can tell how swollen my face and hands are....but focus on the cutest matching jammies ever that my mom gave me! I was spoiled rotten that day:)

plus...what pregnant woman doesn't use their belly as shelf at times?!?
One of it's FEW uses.

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