Tuesday, March 13, 2012

on posting his bday....and a hilarious story.

I have planted my butt on the couch THREE times now to post about my jaxson's big 5th birthday party(s).

Only every time....I wake up 2 hours later in a sweaty heap on the couch wondering where I am.

The massiveness of my body is preventing sleep these days. I wake up at LEAST 10 times a night in some kind of intense pain.

Yesterday I had a meeting with my Dr. that discussed HOW/WHY my arms and hands are almost permanently numb. It is the worst when I sleep. Then there is the issue I have with my hips. They are widening about 4-5 inches a month...I swear it. I have given up on ever looking normal again...but I refuse to give up on making the pain STOP! Please...oh please...oh please make it stop. I can't lay on my stomach for obvious reasons. My back doesn't allow me to breath...which is kind of a necessity. If I lay on either side....that lasts about 1 hour before I wake up with throbbing pain in my rapidly-widening hips:):) add it to the list of perks that come with growing 2 people I guess.  

 Having multiples is the single hardest thing I've ever done.
But holy cow I'm lucky:)


I keep trying to imagine if the sleep deprivation is this bad NOW....what my life will possibly be like with two newborns!

I will keep trying to make time for posting Jaxson's birthday:)
Hopefully by the time the month is over I will succeed at documenting it! haha.


The TRUTH is: I was ready for it to be over!!
How on the earth did I take over 500 pictures of his parties...over a 3 day period??? 
Why would I want to sort through that many pictures when my brain barely stands still for 15 minutes at a time and my body ceases to function if I stop moving?

We had a friend Party on Saturday and a family party on Sunday. Then the REAL birthday came and as hard as I tried, I couldn't ignore that is was ACTUALLY the 7th! So...Jarom took off work in the afternoon and we took the kiddo out to a big dinner and Boondocks for arcades and bowling.

I think it was the next morning while I was filling his Sippy Cup with Dr. Pepper (oh yes...I should win mother of the year award because I am so nice...)....I vividly remember saying to him, in a not-so-nice tone of voice....

"THIS IS THE LAST THING I WILL DO FOR YOU TODAY! Do you understand??? I am taking a nap and I will not allow you to ask me for ANYTHING!!!! MOMS NEED BREAKS TOO!!!!"

To which he replid... "But...it's my birthday?!?"

Me:  "NOPE! That was yesterday kid! We have a whole YEAR before I become a slave to your cute little face again for an entire WEEK. Now leave me alone."


I only felt the teeniest, tiniest twinge of guilt as I laid down on the couch.....it didn't last long because I was snoring in no time:)


It was fun.
The spoiling needed to end.


Sidenote: the best part about right now is I just woke up on the couch...covered in a blanket.. and it's 10:00 p.m. If I remember right...it's Tuesday.  The last thing I remember...is eating dinner around 6:30. I can hear Jarom downstairs running on the treadmill. Crapity Crap. In only a few short pounds I will out-weigh him. WHYYYYY?????!?!?!?!?
I mustered up enough energy to do 2 things for myself.
1. Pee. 2. walk to the pantry and retrieve a donut.

I am now laying on the couch again.

This is pretty much the last moment of my life that this would be acceptable:) so I just went with it....

p.s. The babies are in LOVE with my choice of a DONUT for a late night snack.
They are synchronized swimming (throwing elbows and knees all over the plae right now) and it feels fabulous:)


NOW....for my hilarious story!!

please let me know if you can relate...or if things like this EVER happen to you?!? deal?

So...I spend 3 hours at Mckay Dee hospital yesterday.
Everything is going perfect...my Dr. is just extra cautious and careful and detailed (which is kinda why I chose him). He sees me every 14 days for ultrasounds and fibernectin tests and such.
Yesterday he laughed and told me that my twinners are probably the most LOOKED AT twins...in utero...on the planet. They have been looked at...in detail...every 2 weeks since the moment I conceived. I don't mind a bit. I have like 150 pictures of them hanging all over my house:)

Anyhow....as my appointment ended I called Jarom and started to discuss all the beautiful details of my appointment. Let's just say...that Me and Jarom aren't shy. We tell each other EVERYTHING...which is why I started in excitedly telling him things about.....oh...my cervix and how great it was doing:) I started talking about REALLY PERSONAL stuff that only he would care about right now....while I handed my ticket to the Valet man and plopped my fat butt on the bench outside the hospital to wait for my car. The middle-aged man ran along to retrieve my car while I continued on about my appointment and AAAALLLLLLL that it entailed:) haha.

When he returned with my vehicle... I walked over to the car and he had a big grin on his face. Only it was wierd because I could hear Jarom's voice coming from my car speakers....

What in the........it all played out in slow motion....

As he jumps out of the car...he says to me...
"I like your car...that is pretty neat! Is that your phone conversation (as he points to the phone glued to my ear) it is picking up?"

My stomach drops.

Oh crap.
(my phone is bluetoothed to my car...so that my conversations comes through the speakers while I'm driving and it will call whoever's name I shout out...or automatically answer if my phone rings....blah blah blah...sometimes it's a bit fancy for my liking:)

He heard it all.
He knows about my cervix!!!
He knows...oh my gosh....about...oh my gosh.

I DIED inside.
I smiled....got in my car....and drove away.


Moral of the story is...
I don't think I have to be IN MY CAR...
just in the general area AROUND it....

HOLY &%$#

Good to know. Good to know.

That man has exactly 14 days until I return and ask him to Valet my car again....
Pray he FORGETS my face:)



p.s. Jarom assures me that he didn't hear anything. I...on the other hand....am not convinced.


Aimee & Brennen Fuller said...

Sooo hilarious! But to make you feel a bit better I think you have to be within 5 feet or so for the bluetooth to work so...maybe he didn't hear THAT much after all.

The Wells Family said...

that is awesome!! haha!

good luck with those growing babies! i feel your pain! really! i may have only grown one child at a time...but my last was a whooping ten pounder!...and i gained 60 lbs. my friend of triplets loving made me aware that my ONE baby weighed more than her THREE babies put together. nice. i had my arms and legs in constant numbness when i would try to sleep...oh the throbbing in my elbows! and i am sad to say, my hips have never been the same. they still cause me problems at it has been nearly three years! and let's not get started on the stretched out tummy skin...oh i need a tummy tuck! BUT...those babies are sure worth it...right? :) i can't wait to see pics of the nursery!!

Bartholomew Family said...

haha I laughed all over again reading the story! That is just too funny.

Michelle said...

That is definitely the kind of story you need to write down because it was classic! My car does that too-thanks for learning that lesson for me! I had the numbness in my hands and arms with both of my last pregnancies. The bad news was it got worse the more swollen I got. The good news is it improved vastly once the swelling went away. I think the numbness I still get occasionally when I sleep is more from years of ten key and computer use than having babies. Hang in there! They are going to be so cute!

Ashley said...

ha ha that is really funny about the valet guy. I have also had the numbness with all my pregnancies- so bad in fact I made my doctor induce me early because I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I couldn't feel my arms or fingers-only throbbing pain,also worse at nightime. I started using the carpel tunnel braces on both arms and that helped a lot but still hurt. Also tried some arm stretching. I cannot compare to you with the twins-but I had to take a xanax to beable to sleep most nights