Sunday, April 5, 2009

...scandals...

My friend Mandi is convinced that my life should be made into a movie. Why, you ask???? Read on. Maybe it's my over-dramatic reaction to things....or my over-excitement for anything no matter how big or small. She is CONVINCED that I am always involved in what she endearingy refers to as "Scandals". But...she also has a fair share of her own. Multiple sometimes...all going on at once! I'm not sure what it is about that word...SCANDALS...but for someone as straight-laced as me...it sounds rebellious, and I guess I like it.


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...Yes....

It has been referred to as "Exaggerating" by those who choose to judge :):)....but the truth is I'm really convinced that my eyes must see things differently than most! HEAR ME OUT. What is completely blown out of proportion to you....is my REALITY:) What I really feel & think and SEE. I really do have a lot of fun...and my husband seems to always be laughing (at me) and happy...same with my wild child Jaxson (so that's all that matters) to me. :)


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I thought I would include you on my latest.

SCANDAL...that is!
(partly because I thought Mandi and her husband were going to die of laughter when I called them on Friday to explain the juicy details of my most recent "catch").

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cat trap


All you animal lovers....click onto the next blog and move on...so that you won't HATE MY LIVIN' GUTS afterward.....because YES, one of the 5 scandals I'm involved in this week includes my blatant disregard for felines. Cats. Disgusting, stinky, shedding, lick their own butt CATS. (I am so sorry Brittany...although Jack is the cleanest cat I know...and you are one of my favorite people...your cat still licks it's own butt...then licks you lovingly:) And I am sorry.


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It all started 2 months ago. Our cat...well, let me re-phrase that....my sister KAYLA'S cat Loo Loo....decided to make my life a living hell. I currently live at my parents home...and when my sister married and moved...the cat was left behind. Nobody has time for it...nobody likes it....we occassionally feed it (serious) and it pees..in the house. I know. I know. REVOLTING. We all hate it...but are too busy to go to the pound and get a cage, then try and catch it, then return the animal back to the portion of the human race that likes ANIMALS...so it can be properly sent to pet heaven.
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Oh it get's worse..I promise. Our cat has started to attract other cats. The only worse than 1 cat....is multiple cats. Over the past 2 months....additional disgusting cats will appear and make their home on our deck, porch or in the basket of my BOB jogging stroller on the front terrace. Yes...it even peed on the pad to my trampoline...and I considered shooting it with my dad's rifle..but the lady at animal control advised against it. These cats have seriously started ruining my life. You see...everyone in my family works...and from 7:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. ONLY ME AND JAXSON are left to deal with the consequences.
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SO---I took matters into my own hands. I called the pound and wouldn't take no for an answer. I mustered up a little "emotion and distress" and used words like "diseased, mangy, unkept, growling, scared" and other NEGATIVES that would hopefully send someone running to my home to save me immediately (kind of like "AMINAL COPS" on discovery channel). It worked and the lady brought a PERMIT (so official) and a trap. Yes a trap the very next morning. MY JOB: To lure the cats one by one into the trap and when I was successful...bring the cage (cat inside freaking out mind you) to the pound for them to do one of 2 different things with. Use your imagination.
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Saturday I caught my first. My Bait you ask???? honey baked ham lunch meat. Worked like a charm. Off it went to the slaughter....oh, I mean to be adopted by a loving little 3rd grader who will brush it's fur daily. ha.
cat trap 2
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I like to believe it's a stray...and doesn't belong to anyone around the neighborhood, but I cannot gaurantee this fact. I actually thought long and hard about taking pictures (to post for your enjoyment of course!) of each one as I trapped them in the wire cage. HOWEVER, I feared somebody reading this would recognize them and have reason to hate me for life. Or press charges.
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The trap is again set and a waitin'. Truth be told....I'm hoping the big orange one is next....but I'll take what I can get. I'm not picky. One down...about 4 to go:)
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I do feel badly for Loo Loo...because YES I plan on "getting" her too eventually and she's been an annoying member of this family for approx. 15 years.
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Anyhow...just another average day for me:) Always something exciting...or some ridiculous thing I'm getting my hands into. I think I'm about 60% done with about 40 different projects at the moment. Sigh. But...I like it that way strangely enough.
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One thing is for sure:
It makes me smile just thinking about how
pleasant life will be....CAT-FREE.
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One project I DID finish today was...my pillow.
I made one of these pillows for my mom at Christmastime....and mother-in-law for her B-day and they turned out darling. SO---I decided to stitch one for my couch as well:) They take me 3-4 weeks to stitch all the flowers...sure wish it was something bigger or more extravagant for as much time as they take!
pillow
I also made a padded camera strap. My sewing capabilites are pathetic...but I love this little contraption. Why do heavy camera's even come with a strap if it's sole purpose is to scratch and bruise your neck??? I took care of that little problem. Saw this idea on Kelley's blog forever ago...and decided to whip one up a few weeks ago. It has thick padding in the middle...so it makes picture taking much more comfy. Not to mention...I have been stopped several times and asked if I "SOLD" them....so it must look somewhat NOT-HOME-MADE :)
This is a one-of-a-kind people.
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Oh yah...I'm making one just like it for Mandi...so that's not true. He he.
camera strap
Pam and I took our kiddos to the Treehouse this week. I splurged and bought a YEAR pass...thinking that I would feel much better about my good-mothering attempts if we visited a few times a week and "LEARNED" a bit. Jaxson loved it...and I thought it was pretty amazing too. So darling...I think we're going back tomorrow!
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Pam has two little girls...so Jaxson spent most of his time have tea parties with Sadie (he doesn't quite get the idea...but I couldn't blame him). He threw the tea cup and went straight for "FAKE GUZZLING STRAIGHT FROM THE POT". That's my boy.
teapot
He liked the music room....
music room
train room
....and was in deep concentration in the in the TRAIN STATION room...
"Which track to push my train down??? hmmm?"
concentration
Conference today was wonderful. My little brother turned the big 18 today as well...and we've been busy scarfing down scalloped potatoes, honey baked ham...chocolate cake....the works.
I think I just felt myself gain 6.5 pounds. Painful.
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I'm itching to get outside and enjoy this spring-ish weather...but like usual my two boys are passed out cold. Lazy butts. I guess I have some time to work on my other 40 unfinished projects.
Happy Sunday...Have one great week:)
love, me
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***and to all you blog stalkers...thanks for your nice e-mails about liking my posts! It makes my day:) ***

14 comments:

Michelle ... & Dave :) said...

i LOVE this post. I despise cats as well and I'm glad you are taking it into your hands to send them to a place they belong! :) we are horrible...but i love it!

The Christensens said...

lol...I love it... i to hate cats...and love the treehouse museum, its so much fun =-)And your camera strap is soo so cute, wish I was handy with the sewin machine!

Sharida said...

LOL LOL LOL Can I just say...your pure hatred for cats is hilarious!!! I thought my mother in law was bad...oh no!! You have definitely won the prize!! LOL
It's the wicked laugh I can just hear behind the actions. lol Reminds of when my mom catches snells in her gardens and pours salt on them. She literally cackles!! lol

The McClellan Family said...

Oh how I miss the world through your eyes. You have some funny stories. I too am not a fan of cats so I enjoyed this post alot. Hope you guys are doing well.

Brownies said...

So help me if someone else writes the book before me I am still taking all the money....... I love you blogs, they are so dang hilarious......I love being menioned in them (I feel I deserve it) I love the pictures, the strap, the pillow and the cage....... Still no one will ever know how funny that story really is. OH MY HeavEns. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

Allyson said...

I am one of the members in your ca-haters club. I hate 'em too! Great sewing skills girl! Keep it up!!

Allyson said...

I meant...CAT-hater not CA-hater...I love Cali.:) You are hysterical.:)

Ambie T. said...

I am calling this your split-personality post...

"I will crush your bones into dust" meets June Cleaver.

Ha ha ha!

tina said...

So, I'm kind of a cat person, and you totally made me hate cats while I read this. I love your blog! It's a must read, though I'm so afraid you won't even remember who I am.(think danscompany) anyway. LOVED IT!!!!

Savanna said...

Thanks for the comment about your blog stalkers. :) (I guess it's good that I admit I am one huh?) It was fun to meet you the other night. I think your camera strap is genius... I want one! Maybe you should add those to your modbe sales. :) Oh, and I am with you all the way on the cats. I hate them too.

Bryce & Brittany said...

Well......not much to say for this post other than if my cat was out wondering the neighborhood and was "lovingly" snatched up in a cage I'd be very upset! I love cats!!! Not sure what's wrong with the rest of you people!!!:)

Jessica Davis said...

I am not much of a cat lover, kinda allergic. Not a dog lover either because they also lick their butts and eat there own poo. Not to mention the barking, shedding,and jumping up on you. Uggh. Your funny, I had quite the laugh reading your post and just imagining you baiting your traps for those dirty rotten cats.

Ashleyandsteve said...

you always have such cute posts! I am -too, a blog stalker. You sell modbe huh? Do they still have the black suit with white polka dots and ruffle still available from last year?

Ashleyandsteve said...

its me again, if modbe has that suit avail. can you let me know and how much, please. my blog is ashleyjillandsteve.blogspot.com. thank you