Wanna know something....

Just as I was typing that...I thought to myself....I bet they think I am going to announce what my babie are.

Nope. No clue.

A few more weeks.

They should totally be able to tell me by now...but the little squirts didn't cooperate and I felt like the majority of my ultrasound was staring at the top of their heads.

I have a big targeted ultrasound at the hospital with a specialist on Feb. 2nd and that day can't come fast enough! I need to know they are healthy. I need to what they are so I can get shoppin:)

Moving on to my real announcement:

I FEEL BETTER!!!!!

I will say it again.....

I FEEL BETTER!!!!!

I really questioned whether or not it would happen. I felt doomed to suffer for the rest of my life. I really started to "FORGET" what normal felt like. It was awful. Then my mind would wander to my grandma or the people who suffer for years. I mean REALLY suffer. It was horrible. 

I am obviously not running at 100% and I still get waves of "I will not survive this moment..."

....but....

 for the most part I am a fully functioning member of society.

I even do my hair occasionally. 

I cook dinner (sometimes) and I do the laundry too.  

It's a freaking miracle.

Oh yah...I shave my legs (sometimes) too.

I do homework with Jaxson and I can cook meat.

I don't cry if Jarom makes grape crystal light and then I catch a wiff of it in the air.

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However,  my constant sickness was replaced with incredible emotion. I have incredibly irrational moments in which I will become so irrate I physically try to beat the crap out of my poor husband. Or the people who cannot figure out how to push a cart at Walmart. It's like traffic laws people....you go up one side and down the other!!!!!! ....and you do not, under any circumstance STOP in the middle of the isle and just park the cart while you browse and try do decide what flavor of cake mix you're in the mood for. People are nuts!

I, on the other hand, am only slightly nuts:)

On Saturday afternoon (after what I will call a "small misunderstanding" between my Jarom and me....:):) hee hee) he busted up laughing and told me...

"yah know...I could totally file a protective order (restraining order) against you right now!"

Oh crap.

Just because he does that all day at work....he better not get any ideas:) haha.

For the record I cried so hard for no reason that afternoon....that he had to stop at a gas station and grab a pile of napkins for me to wipe the snot from my face. He then patted me on the back and said...."simmer down...simmer down". (his classic line when I get the..."I need/want to hurt someone right now" look on my face.) Yep...we do make a pretty good team now that I think about it.

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The BEST NEWS is....

I even started liking this little babies of mine.

WE had a rough start and I just couldn't imagine why they were trying to kill me from the inside out....but I kinda like them now and think they are adorable.

I have ALWAYS thought it was One Girl and One Boy....until last week.

I was driving in the car and I just KNEW it was 2 BABY BOYS.

Then, of course, there is the repeated dream about them each wrapped in BLUE.

Sigh. It makes my heart melt.

I really have no clue what they are to be honest.....I think my assumption that it's boys might stem from the fact that I don't know any different!!! Little BOYS are all that I know.

....and I must admit....

When it come to superhero's and skylanders and four wheelers and Tball games...I am pretty darn educated.

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In my dream:

I get a call telling me the babies are here.

(this is the first clue that it is a dream...and FAR from the reality that I will actually live through...in which they will probably be cut from my stomach after 12 hours of crazy labor).

In my dream I get the bigget butterflies, jump in my car and race to my mom's in Brigham. I fly through her front door and everyone in my family is there smiling and telling me how precious they are...and how TEENY TINY. They point upstair and tell me they are snuggled up and laying on my mom's bed.

I jump the stairs two at time with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I walk into her room and see TWO little swaddled babies in BLUE blankets laying in the middle of her huge bed.

RIGHT as I walk close to the bed to see their faces....

I wake up.

I know. No fair.

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Whatever they are....I love them.

Which is more than I could say a month ago:):)

I was literally SUFFERING....and TICKED.

I guess I'm not good at pain-endurance!!!

Now....I day dream of smelling their little heads and I consume my days with prayers that they're healthy and have all of their parts:)

I will keep you posted!

love, me

p.s. My child has a routine. A bed time. A Schedule & more.

I have officially joined the "good, responsible mother club" that I have never been a part of.

It's been good. Not as fabulous as I always imagined. BUT good:)