the aftermath.....

We packed the hummer to the brim and traveled to B.C. for the holiday.

I am currently dealing with the aftermath.

Unpacking, laundry, stocking the house with groceries after being gone for days on end & mourning that my husband went back to work. Today was my designated pity party that the holiday was over and that I miss Jarom. Tomorrow I will get over it and be more productive.

---------

My child has been on cloud nine for DAYS and DAYS: Finally climbing into bed around midnight every night, sleeping right in the middle of nanny and papa, playing wii with uncle nate, flirting with his crush...aunt kelsey, hitting the bowling alley with dad and aunt kayla, & eating LOTS of candy.

The small fact that Santa dumped his sleigh in nanny's family room was kinda exciting too!

This was a bizarre Christmas for me.

Life as a whole is bizarre for me right now I guess:)

I kinda remember the old me...but there's not a trace of her in sight. 

Even Jarom told my parents over the weekend..."I didn't think she had it in her..."

(him referring to my amazing new ability to "LET GO", lay around and do nothing)

---------

I kept thinking about NEXT Christmas...then feeling intense guilt that I was wishing away THIS Christmas. Oh...the joys of self-inflicted guilt and hormones. Deadly mixture.

---------

The truth: I am still suffering most of the day.  

I put on a smile and did my best to make it magical for Jaxson.

He loved it.

He got spoiled.

I have a handful of pictures of the fun that hopefully I'll post soon!

  I allowed ONE picture of me to be taken this season. Wowzers.

All I have to say is: THIS IS HARD.

The whole growing two babies at one time thing.

I am not doing it gracefully.

Every organ in my body is in rebellion.

My skin being Number 2 on the list....my gag reflex coming in at Number 1.

------

The good news of the day.....

We saw the babies this morning. 

The three of us traveled to Mckay Dee Hospital today to peek in on the little munchkins. I had this revelation over the weekend that nothing was in there...and this whole thing was my imagination. It was wierd. I was totally convinced.

THEN JAROM SAID: "Honey, do you feel like your gonna die right now??"

To which I nodded.

To which he responded: "Then their in there!"

Very good point.

****

They were doing fabulous. TWO perfect little heads, arms, legs, toes, fingers....and heartbeats.

No matter how sick...or fat...or ugly...

One thing I am for SURE...is blessed.

We find out what these little babies are in 2.5 short weeks.

I am starting to grow anxious!!!!

Jaxson is coming up with some pretty hilarious names for the little ones and keeping even my reallllyyyy siiiiccckkkk moments full of laughs and smiles.  

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

I hope to post some more journal entries tomorrow!

Love, ME